The Motherhood & Ambition "AND": Why It's Ok Not to Have It All Together
This week, I truly didn’t think I would be able to write a blog post. The precious time I had to myself was taken up with sleep regression, life admin and endless tidying, sound familiar, mama? It always seems that something has to give, and as an entrepreneur, that “thing” is usually my work. Yet, surprisingly, amidst the chaos of 24/7 mum life, a new perspective emerged and some genuinely helpful insights I'm excited to unpack with you.
The Constant Contradiction: Unpacking the 'AND'
AND may be the most underrated word in the English dictionary, but this small 3-letter word holds so much power for us high-achieving mums. This week, my days have been a total whirlwind of "ands." I cherish this precious, fleeting time with my little one, AND yet I'm drained and frustrated by the constant demands that leave no room for myself. There's so much joy playing together in the swimming pool, AND a part of me desperately longs for the mental shift of work, a space just for my brain. I'm grateful for every moment with her, AND I'm fiercely driven to build this business for you all, as well as for myself. I'm having a little battle with the juggle of being a full-time mum AND the amount of time I want to dedicate to building my business. It feels like something fundamental has shifted.
This AND conundrum seems so symbolic of modern motherhood. The pressure to do it all, the pressure to be the best, nurturer and producer. The beauty of equality comes laced with a bittersweetness. Always on, always connected, always mothering. The pressure is amplified but what we see online. Other mothers’ perfect lives, women entrepreneurs making their millions and in my case, fellow yoga teachers smashing it with their online offers. Even though our rational brain knows the reality behind those squares paints a very different picture, that seemingly innocent scroll can still breed those feelings of "Am I really enough?"
Recognising Your Own 'Out of Alignment' Moments
For me, that feeling of "not enough" is a powerful signal: I'm out of alignment. It's often when my foundational self-care has silently slipped - perhaps my yoga practice has been neglected, my nutrition has suffered, or my sleep hygiene has gone awry. We underestimate the power of these seemingly small things, don't we? Just 5 minutes of silent sitting, taking an extra 10 minutes to mindfully prepare a nourishing meal, or switching everything off and heading to bed when your little one does (guilty as charged!) - these aren't trivial. They're the silent pillars that add up to monumental shifts in our energy and resilience. Take a moment now to think of three pillars of well-being that YOU need to be ok. Notice if one of those has slipped this week.
A Collective Truth: You Are Not Alone
Let's be unequivocally clear: Motherhood is hard. Building a business or managing a full-on career is hard. Trying to keep it all together is an impossible task, and I'm right here in the trenches with you. Part of me knows I desperately need extra help; part of me understands I cannot raise this child entirely on my own while my partner works away. Yet, another part feels that insidious guilt for not being able to 'manage it all' seamlessly. For being in a privileged position where I can seek help AND spend time building the business of my dreams.
I'm sharing all of this because it's a crucial truth: it's okay not to have it all together. As high-achieving mums, the daily demands are immense, and tragically, we are often our own harshest critics. My invitation to you this week, the same one I extended to myself, is to intentionally create space. Let what you do in that day be genuinely enough, because it truly is. Release the rigid expectations and unspoken rules you only hold yourself to. Know that by giving yourself space, by finding even fleeting moments of stillness and nourishing your soul, you are offering your family the most profound gift.
Life is messy, full of "ands." Let's stop fighting the waves and instead, learn to ride them, together.
Finding Your Anchor: Three Tiny Steps to Embrace Your 'Ands'
If you're feeling a similar tension – the constant push and pull of ambition and motherhood – here are three incredibly simple, actionable steps you can try this week to create a little more breathing room and find your anchor amidst the waves:
Name Your 'Ands' (and Validate Them): Take a moment to acknowledge the conflicting emotions you're holding, without judgement. "I love my child AND I'm exhausted." "I'm committed to my work AND I crave more personal time." Just naming these dual truths can bring a surprising sense of relief and self-compassion, dissolving some of that internal friction.
One Minute of Micro-Pause (Away from the Screen): Pick just one minute in your day, perhaps before you get out of bed, or crucially, before picking up your phone. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and simply be. No goals, no expectations, no tasks; just one minute dedicated solely to you. This quick, intentional disconnect helps regulate your nervous system and prevents the immediate digital overload that often sets the tone for our day.
Drop One Tiny Expectation (The Mom Guilt Release): Look at your mental list of "shoulds" - those unspoken rules only you seem to follow. Can you identify one thing you can genuinely let go of this week, no guilt attached? Maybe it's perfectly folded laundry, responding to a non-urgent email, or skipping the complex dinner recipe. Giving yourself permission to release this one expectation isn't about laziness; it's a powerful act of self-kindness, making crucial space for your well-being.
Ready to Reclaim Your Calm & Energy?
If you're looking for more ways to unplug from the overwhelm and find that precious balance, I invite you to explore my resources designed specifically for high-achieving mums like you.
🎧 Dive into my podcast, The Unplugged Life, for honest conversations and insights to help you disconnect from digital demands and reconnect with what truly nourishes your soul: https://shorturl.at/FHmz6
▶️ And for quick, accessible yoga and mindfulness practices, subscribe to my YouTube channel. It’s time to unplug from digital overwhelm, recharge your energy, and reclaim your calm, one mindful breath at a time: https://www.youtube.com/@claresyoga